good by live journal your usefulness has run out while your hassle has increased :/

you know its a good break when you are serched by the police xP ahhh hehehe. quote of the day "what the fuck is this shit?! i don't care if you smoke double surprise apple cider fuck"
end of the story steven learned not to through bottles and we hate the police.

Halloween is pretty much described as starting off as epic fail but at the end of the day this Halloween was pretty epic. Rocky horror picture show at midnight was the shit i have to say. i am really tired still since i got home around 6am so back to bed i go.

i really need to work on being a nice person. i have noticed that i am an ass hole to every one like regardless of every thing. people even tell me this to my face :/ i used to be a really energetic happy go lucky nothing bring me down funny person now i am a tired angry slow lame person. its not who i am supposed to be but it is who i am now and i don't want to be :/

outside lands = hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot ghay buck secks. all i have to say...

ahh today is the last day of summer one must look back at the past two moths and reflect was it a good time? dam strait it was a good time, shit this summer was good to me hahaha ah and i still have vanz and outside lands to look forward to. looks like all the money i made during the summer is going to be spent b4 i know it but what ever these two concerts are going to be baller xP cant wait to see katie perry preform at Vanz, she was the deciding act that made me want to go again. it dose not even seem like summer is over i am not really going to go back to school this is my senior year so i am DGAF to the max but i know to keep my gpa at a 2.9 which wont be to hard since my "dificult" classes this year are going to be math and sciences which i scrape at any way. epp time to take pictures!

today was ratehr eventfull i decided to break as many of my parents wishes as i could possibly in one day :] in short i died my hair again and secondly i gaged one of my ears. my mom did not care too much she was like its your body and i cant tell you any longer what to do but my dad on the other hand flipped out but what ever not my problem :]]

yesterdays pool party was a blast :] hehehe for a totally last minute affair it worked out flawlessly. the one thing that did not work out yesterday was me picking up my car from the auto shop :/ so i had to drive the Volvo in place of the Honda what a travesty ;) but that will all change today since i get my car back from the auto shop in a matter of 30 minutes so i am DGAF at the moment hahaha but i do now realise how important it is that i keep that car in good shape. the last 2 days were unbearable since they were the first time in over 7 months that i have not been able to drive my self where ever i want when ever i want. having to rely on people who are unreliable sux so bad but what ever i have my car back and all is good :] well it is time that i head over to the car shop so see you later livejournal

well the flowers and chocolate really made up for you being a dumb ass i guess so i am no longer angry at you.(problem resolved)

tomorrow is going to be a good day for a hike and picnic i hope cause thats what i am going to be doing like all day.

you are soooo fucking stupid why can you not listen to me i have only ever asked you to ever do this one thing for me, never have i asked you anything; maybe this is important if its the only thing i have asked you not to do. if i tell you not to do some thing that will save your ass in the long run why not listen to me instead of going the next day and doing the complete opposite of what i told you. stupid stupid stupid.

on a happy note my cousins graduation party was fun, met some new people who are rather cool i must say.ohh and after the party i watched Princess Mononoke which as always was an epic movie. well now its sunday and i must start my day so good by live journal for now.

today involved a lot of sitting on my ass sleeping and watching movies. surprisingly we did not finish a single movie we started a clockwork orange and started the Indiana Jones series and played a lot of Teckin. but on the down side the class i signed up for in Chabot is full :[ so now i need to find another class to sign up for and start the whole process of getting school authority signatures over again. well i am off to do that now so goodbye livejournal.

god dam i finished watching into the wild just now and it made me uber uber depresed. :'[

i watched most of it when it first came out but i never finished it and now i did and it made me uber sad gurrrrrr. the sad thing is that kid is pretty much me. i'm just minus the smarts and the people skills.

ahh well i am off to be sad in bed its late goodnight.

ahhh today is going to be a good day i can just tell by the weather. its all cloudy but still really bright out and nice and cool,its not per say cold either but its not warm like it has been for the longest while but its not that wet kind of cool its dry from the heat wave we had last week still. but ya i love this weather its beautiful. :] even though i am probably not going to go out and enjoy it since i have to do a lot of work around the house its still nice to know that the weather is really nice out side.

i want to go to Santa Cruz again some time soon. i don't want to go to the board walk or anything like that, cause i hate going to over commercialized places where there a hoards of people making asses of them selfs. and not to mention how dirty it is there; the beach right off the boardwalk is so nasty and full of people. i want to go back to the nice secluded beach i found last time i was there. it was really nice case there was no one else there and it was quiet and really clean and on the edge of the beach there were these really cool big rocks that were awesome to climb. i just need to find another day were i can escape for a nice long ass time and maybe i will take the van so i can bring more then 4 people this time even though it was perfect the first time.

ahhh the life of Thaddeus :] today we are to celebrate the life and times of a great man, Thaddeus, since he was in a car accident on the freeway and almost died two days ago. unfortunately we will not be able to celebrate at our favorite spot since in the accident his car was kinda hurt so instead we are going to have to BBQ some place else today and rides are on me i guess xP

ahhh only 2 days of school left :]]]]

I'm looking forward to Thursday and the boardwalk its going to be fun :] every thing is chill i really don't care about much right now (in a good way). I'm going to pass like every class even if i don't try on finals so all the studying i have been doing is just for kicks and so i can get a 3.0 so my dad will pay for insurance xP

wellp time to go but good mood plz stay xP

wellp i accidentally drifted my car on sunday. it was scary but funny at the same time. what happened was that i was in a roundabout and i really love roundabouts so i went around a couple times. on the second time around i was going a little too fast i did not speed up intentionally or anything i was just going a little too fast. so half way through the turn the car started to drift... it was intense like it kept going in the circle even though i tried to straighten out. its a strange feeling when you turn your steering wheel and your car does not respond it really blows your mind case that is not ever supposed to happen. but end of story i drifted for half of the roundabout at which point i came out of the drift into the street i was aiming for. nothing bad happened and it was not dangerous since i was going where i wanted the whole time even though i was drifting for a couple of seconds. i think of it as a learning experience, 1. don't go fast in a roundabout, and 2. i know what it feels like to drift haha

i feel like shit right now. i have never felt this bad and the worst part is i don't know why. like today was a good day. i felt rather good all day long well other then a cough i got last night but nothing major. so after the play performance today i felt fine, i drove to Denny's feeling fine, i got into Denny's felt fine,i sat down and i felt like taking a knife to my head and any body part i could stab. i felt so sad, unwanted, insecure, on the spot. i don't know how to explain it. then when more people started showing up it kept getting worse and worse. i finally could not take it any longer. and then fucking Katie had to be a cunt and tell me to leave since she did not want me there. she was joking like she always is but it did not feel like that to me; like it is the worst feeling i have ever had. nothing has ever felt like this. the day i found out my grand mother died was the closest i have ever felt to this. but at least then i knew why i felt like that. but now i feel horrid and i don't know why. fuck!!!! a little after Katies comment i just got up and left i just went to my car and sat there for five minutes wanting to cry. i never ever cry and to have that feeling just made is ten times worse. its been near an hour since this started and it has not gotten any better. i even told my dad to fuck of for no reason; he came into my room to see if i came home and i just turned around and told him to fuck off. i am rude to my parents but its always when i am prevoked but this time it was just me being a dick. god dam i am going to bed i hope this ends god its horrible.

post scriptum: i think i broke my knuckles on the garage door when i got home.they are all red and swolen now. not that i care i have scars all on my hand from hitting things when i get depressed/ mad so this will just add to the collection. just at a quick glance i see at least 3 old scars on my right hand; god i am a fucking dumb ass.

woot today is opening day of theater its half way through the first act and the house has so many people in it! its amazing :]] its going to be so much fun all the work has definetaly paid off well its half time so i have to go xP

hell week = no sleep + no time for any thing :/

after this week is over i am going to spend about 6 hours talking to people i have lost contact with for the last week because of hell week in theater.