Went to Border's and Best Buy. Got the Alan Aldridge book I've been drooling over every time I've been at Border's- it's soggy, but I don't mind. Bought Little Miss Sunshine and Big Fish. Finally too.
Side note- I feel like shit. Yesterday was the random back pain, today it's the random chest pain? Wtf. I'm all sneezy/weezy too. Jump around a little and I'm totally out of breath. This might be bad. /:
Side note- I feel like shit. Yesterday was the random back pain, today it's the random chest pain? Wtf. I'm all sneezy/weezy too. Jump around a little and I'm totally out of breath. This might be bad. /:
- Mood:
pleased
Things could be different, but they're not.
I've started saying "off the chain" a lot lately. Where did this come from? Who do I know that says that anyways? Stupid.
I just woke up. I already like the weather. 4 am, Chris told me not to "settle". I feel that this is a statement that can be taken multiple directions.
I work 3-close, with 3-6 being by myself. Nobody better get the Apple Dumpling Sundae. I. will. shit. I should probably call Border's, but I think I lost the manager's business card. Excellente..
I will probably go to Starbucks during break. Hope Christine or Donna are working. Hope no questions are asked, but I'm sure they're over it, they have to be by now.
I just woke up. I already like the weather. 4 am, Chris told me not to "settle". I feel that this is a statement that can be taken multiple directions.
I work 3-close, with 3-6 being by myself. Nobody better get the Apple Dumpling Sundae. I. will. shit. I should probably call Border's, but I think I lost the manager's business card. Excellente..
I will probably go to Starbucks during break. Hope Christine or Donna are working. Hope no questions are asked, but I'm sure they're over it, they have to be by now.
- Mood: calm
This is frustrating.
It is safe to say; not all Courtneys are bitches.
- Mood:
bouncy
Instant gratification is finally out of the picture; it has never been realistic anyways. I love a few things, and I really hate a lot of things. This never seems to change.
I'm the same, really. I'm still an awful student, I still don't care about the things I "should" care about, love can wait, I'm careless with my money, I still don't have much interest in foreign affairs or matters of politics, etc. etc. I have my mind, my imagination, but even that isn't being put to use. I'm floating. I'm sinking. I'm floating again, but sinking is inevitable. Where is the equilibrium? I still like words like equilibrium. I still like words, period. I'm no professor, I won't go into science, I won't go specifically into art, I want to be all over the place, that's where I feel best- all over the fucking place. Scatterbrained. Whatever. Journalism/English/Media studies/Art? We'll see how it will all work. I think in the present and for now, I'd like to write as much as I'd like to be artistic in some way. Author/Illustrator. I've considered it. I don't know what I'd write about, I feel like all I have to say is silly and has no real meaning behind it. Stupid. Confidence: lacking. I also feel like no one will put up with how I write. How I'd like to write anyways, which is much like this. Children's books perhaps.
Enough future. More now. Now is.. uncomfortable. I'm stuck. Stuck at home, stuck mentally, stuck physically. I have no drive. This isn't very new, I've always had a kind of mental block. I have potential, I know I do. I have yet to prove it, I guess I don't want to. It isn't right. Some things are just not right. I've described it to my mom once: There is an emptiness, a gap. She doesn't take me very seriously..
You get to know someone really well, well, as well as you can possibly know them given the time you have to know them. They leave, permanently, unexpectedly and in the time they are gone you realize that you are like them in many ways. Ways that are not necessarily good, but it's not like if you were given the choice you'd be able to get rid of them anyways since ultimately, it is YOU. And this is where I'm stuck.
On a brighter note, call it premature but, I have a Valentine. /blush.
dawwwwww.
I'm the same, really. I'm still an awful student, I still don't care about the things I "should" care about, love can wait, I'm careless with my money, I still don't have much interest in foreign affairs or matters of politics, etc. etc. I have my mind, my imagination, but even that isn't being put to use. I'm floating. I'm sinking. I'm floating again, but sinking is inevitable. Where is the equilibrium? I still like words like equilibrium. I still like words, period. I'm no professor, I won't go into science, I won't go specifically into art, I want to be all over the place, that's where I feel best- all over the fucking place. Scatterbrained. Whatever. Journalism/English/Media studies/Art? We'll see how it will all work. I think in the present and for now, I'd like to write as much as I'd like to be artistic in some way. Author/Illustrator. I've considered it. I don't know what I'd write about, I feel like all I have to say is silly and has no real meaning behind it. Stupid. Confidence: lacking. I also feel like no one will put up with how I write. How I'd like to write anyways, which is much like this. Children's books perhaps.
Enough future. More now. Now is.. uncomfortable. I'm stuck. Stuck at home, stuck mentally, stuck physically. I have no drive. This isn't very new, I've always had a kind of mental block. I have potential, I know I do. I have yet to prove it, I guess I don't want to. It isn't right. Some things are just not right. I've described it to my mom once: There is an emptiness, a gap. She doesn't take me very seriously..
You get to know someone really well, well, as well as you can possibly know them given the time you have to know them. They leave, permanently, unexpectedly and in the time they are gone you realize that you are like them in many ways. Ways that are not necessarily good, but it's not like if you were given the choice you'd be able to get rid of them anyways since ultimately, it is YOU. And this is where I'm stuck.
On a brighter note, call it premature but, I have a Valentine. /blush.
dawwwwww.
- Mood:
listless
Christmas was different this year.
- Mood: chipper
nothing is worse than
1. unintentionally proving someone right.
2. pretending to be something you're not/faking emotions trying to prove that you are what you're pretending to be.
1. unintentionally proving someone right.
2. pretending to be something you're not/faking emotions trying to prove that you are what you're pretending to be.
- Mood:
crushed
This is what success feels like, and I still don't even know what my grades are.
- Mood: cheerful
People are different now.
I will go back and buy it. I have to.
Time for an artistic revival.
Today was really pleasant. I had a long anticipated nap, a delicious lunch, watched a funny movie, got some new jams, and felt fine for once. I am going to fail math, but the grade I get in the class I'm taking next semester will replace it. That makes me so relieved. Hello Christmas, hello old friends. Let's ketchup.
- Mood: peaceful
Why is it that I can talk to my mother and she can share with me stories of her past and how she got to where she is now and still be so unappreciative? So unmotivated? Lack such drive & passion? Where is that inside me. I would like to know.
Lots of angles, with this one being rather obtuse, with both ends leading to inevitable situations that will result in an unbearable lack of overall stability.
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